"Per Astra Ad Aspera" Coming To Smoke Signal!

As my new novel, "Per Astra Ad Aspera," nears its release, I've spent a lot of time wondering the best format to release it in. Obviously at first I wanted nothing more than to see it released as a good old-fashioned book, yet others told me "Books are on the way out! E-books are all the rage now!"

I spent a long time considering that route as well. Perhaps the best home for Per Astra was on the Kindle. But wait, I began to think. What if e-books are just a passing fad? For all I knew they could be on the way out themselves in a few years. No, I want my book to be remembered, so it has to be released on a format that'll last. One that's proven to stand the test of time. And so, after much consideration, I'm pleased to announce that Per Astra Ad Aspera will be released exclusively as a smoke signal.

Smoke signals have been in use for millennia, and they're guaranteed not to go obsolete anytime soon. Can a computer float up into the air? That's what I thought!

So here's how it'll work. On the big day of my novel's release, a team of professional smoke signalers will be dispatched to the hill nearest you with a set of two torches. The torches will then be used to signal out the entire text of my novel in accordance with the Polybius square. Just step outside, look up in the sky, and watch the magic of literature rise up into the air! If you ever wish to read the book again, simply notify your local smoke signalers, and they'll signal the novel again, all the way from the beginning.

I know you'll all love Per Astra when it releases, especially now that I've made the right format choice. Smoke signals are all-natural and environmentally-friendly, unlike those stupid tree-killing books. You don't have to spend a bundle on an e-Reader to look at them. They can be seen in the dark. They're accessible to everyone. You don't even need to know how to read to appreciate a smoke signal novel (although you do need to understand a Polybius square). Most importantly, however, is that this format guarantees my book will still be remembered decades, maybe even centuries, from now. For as we all know, smoke signals are guaranteed to never, ever become a dated format.

(DISCLAIMER: Promise of dispatching smoke signalers to "the hill nearest you" is void for residents of anywhere outside Alpharetta, Georgia. R. Anthony Mahan is not responsible for any injuries, illnesses, or deaths incurred from having a 98,000-word novel's worth of smoke being dispersed into the air. It is illegal for anyone under 18 to read a smoke signal novel. Smoke signal novels cause lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy. If the smoke from Per Astra Ad Aspera turns black, the new Pope has not yet been chosen. April Fool's.)